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The views expressed here are the author's Faair. I was given a few issues of Martha Stewart's "Living" magazines and apparently - and I was unaware of this - Martha needs a calendar to remind her of all her daily duties. The to-do Local Fair Oaks California pussy includes very important tasks like "season wooden cutting boards," "give catnip to all the cats" and "prune weeping willows in the wetland while the ground is frozen.

WTH, Martha? Does anyone really do any of these things?

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I'd like to gently smack them back into reality. The ultra-relevant task of trying to "decide if I am going to leave the hot shower to retrieve the razor I've forgotten yet again or just leave the thicket of armpit hair alone" - that'll attract attention, right?

And, just like Martha, I too cleaned puszy window shades and blinds but she did it on Feb. Nor did I have a Today Show appearance, but that isn't to say I won't. It's just not scheduled yet.

Oh, yes, Martha made a cake out of dog food on aOks Feb. Nearby Places. In case you were wondering what very important people do.

By Tracy Whipple, Neighbor Feb 3, Back to the Fair Oaks-Carmichael Patch. The views expressed in this post are the author's own.

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